What Would You Do?

What have we learned so far? One thing I have learned through events of my life is; domestic violence has been around for many centuries and unfortunately will be around for a long time to come. As friends, loved ones, social workers and those in extenuating helping fields, we need to learn how to help and support those who are and have survived domestic violence.

Do you know someone who has suffered at the hands of another in a case of domestic violence? Did you want to punch the abuser in the face? Maybe you were thinking of hitting them a little lower than the nose? I have to admit I know I have.

However, in thinking that, it also brings me to ask, is thinking of hurting an abuser any better or less abusive than what the abuser has done? I recall an occasion when I retaliated against my abuser and then felt like crap afterwards. No, I have never hit or punched any of my abusers, not on purpose anyway.

Anyway, I remember one time my fiancée had pushed me into the corner of the room off the kitchen. It was a very small room, but I was using it as my classroom. I was doing courses working on getting a diploma in Office Administration. I don’t remember if he was drunk or hungover, but I wasn’t doing something he wanted me to do. I am not nor ever have been claustrophobic, but being trapped in the corner of that little room, something rose up inside me and I snapped. In a moment of panic, I pushed him with a great deal of force. Something inside me just knew I needed to get away, but when I pushed him out of my way, he stumbled, tripped and fell backwards. I don’t know how it happened, but in the midst of his fall, his body somehow turned and as though watching a slow motion movie, I watched as his face rammed into the stove. In a split second and without thinking, I jumped over his body lying on the floor and ran out the door, only to stop at the kitchen exit door, to turn around and ask him if he was okay. Even in his dazed state of mind, he was abusive and started yelling, “You F___ing cow. You pushed me for no reason. You only had to ask me to move and I would have moved. I should call the cops and have you charged with assault and battery. Look at my face. You probably broke my nose.”

Now crying, I said, “I did ask you to move and you just kept pushing in, closer and closer.”

“Liar, you F___ing liar. You never asked me to move. You just rammed your way past me and pushed me into the stove. Get lost, before I do call the cops and have you arrested.” I left and I would like to say I never looked back, but I can’t. Not only did I look back, I went back.

I am glad to say, I am now free of him and have been since July 2007. I still think of him on occasion, but mostly to say, “Thank you God, for helping me to get away and staying away.”

My final question for this article is; what would you do if it had been you?

If you want to answer this question or comment on this or any article on my BLOG, please feel free to leave me a message.